Break Up Letter #1

Excerpts from a letter composed by Julie and Katie at the Anti-Valentine's Day Party.

There are so many things to say that I don't know where to begin, so I guess I'll get right into it. Basically, I don't like you. I hate you. I loathe, detest, abhor, and despise you. You are the grimiest, skeziest piece of scum to ever stick to my shoe.

First of all, you need to learn the meaning of the word "hygiene," because frankly you're so slimy that slugs pour salt on you. That weird thing in your bathroom is called a shower, buddy, and you need to learn how to use it! To be honest, one time when we were out, I though we were near a sewage plant, but it turned out you had forgotten your deodorant.

Aside from the fact that you are disgustingly gross and horrifically ugly, you're also pathetically dimwitted. I'd give you a penny for your thoughts, but you wouldn't have change. What makes you even more pathetic is how full of yourself you are. Well, here's a newsflash for you: You are not God, the world does not revolve around you. You need to get over yourself.

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