Story Started by Caitlin the Elder

Felicia was bored that day. She lived in a place called Super Happy Land, where everyone would be kind, friendly, even loving to each other. Then, whe remembered ancient lore of earlier dead countries. Things were better there. They had poverty, pollution, prejudice, violence, obscenities, and conspiricies! That place was called the Euasuvei. "I will find the legendary Euasuvei," Felicia decided. "Not just because I'm bored, but also to make the world a better place!" So she packed up her things and left to see the wise elder for a way to get to the Euasuvei.

"I'm going out, Ma!" Felicia called to her mother. Her mother replied, "I don't think so, young lady! Your room is atrocious, you have homework out the wazoo, you have the dog to feed and 4,000,000,000 other things to do!!" Here she stopped to take a breath. "MARCH!" "But Ma, I need to--" Felicia said. "No 'buts.' I have plenty of butt with your two little brothers in diapers," interrupted her mother.

Felicia started up the steps when a small black cat lept in front of her and sat down on the 5th step. "Uhh...where'd you come from, little kitty? Huh?" She looked around and saw a window hearby was open, curtains flowing in the breeze. The cat meowed once and ran upstairs in a blur of black, with a small amount of white from the tip of its tail. "Hey!" said Felicia. She followed the cat as it went down the hallway towards the bathroom. The door was half-closed, a strange psychadelic glow eminating from the small room. She stood in front of the door as the cat went in and slurped a drink from the glowing toilet. After drinking, the cat transformed--before Felicia's very eyes--into a tall, dark-skinned figure in shimmering green robes.

The figure spoke: "Tired of Super Happy Land? Wish you could engage in some obscenity? How about some pollution? Well, do I have a deal for you! For just 6 easy installments of $19.95, you can use my amazing Anti-Happy Time Travel Device to return to the good old days in Euasuvei. How about it?" "Ahhh...ummm...sure, I guess, but... I really, really have to clean my room," Felicia said, unsure of the dark stranger's intentions. But before she could move, he shoved her through the potty portal and into the Euasuvei.

Unfortunately, no one in 2005 had a time machine to send her back, so she lived out her days happily in the land of pollution and obscenities until a nuclear bomb blew up the earth. The End.

No comments: