Love Is Not Abuse

Yesterday, 20 high school students showed up for our Love Is Not Abuse discussion group led by Katie Kenyon from the Delaware County Domestic Abuse Project. We had 5 guys and 15 girls, representing a variety of grades, schools, and backgrounds. (Three of the people were even getting extra credit from their health teacher for attending.) Our starting activity provided us with enough to talk about for the entire session! Everyone worked in pairs to determine if the scenario they were given was no big deal, something to talk about, or a dealbreaker in a relationship. Our freewheeling discussion gave everyone a chance to voice their opinions, share stories, ask questions, and think about the issues in a new way. The conversation went until the last minute and then some! At the end, I talked about some of our new fiction and nonfiction on topics related to dating and relationship issues.

We wll have Katie back in the new year to do a few more programs, including a possible series of classes to continue this discussion. Meanwhile, here are some online resouces that might give you more insight:

http://www.athinline.org/
This is MTV's new project aimed at preventing digital abuse among teens. Take their quiz, then get informed about issues like constant messaging, cruelty, sexting, digital disrespect, and spying.

http://www.thesafespace.org/
This site for teens from Break the Cycle has quizzes, a place for questions, and a lot of great resourses on teen dating issues. I particulary like the ideas in their Take Action section.

http://www.thatsnotcool.com/
This website provides teens with tools to combat digital misbehavior, including Callout Cards that you can share through email and social networking sites. I like the one that pictures a toilet and reads, "Thanks to your constant calls, the sound of your voice offically makes me want to puke."

http://www.knowmoresaymore.org/
This site for young women from the Family Violence Prevention Fund talks about the link between relationship abuse and reproductive health.

http://www.giveitaponder.com/
This new ad campaign features the disembodied beard of James Lipton, which attaches itself to teens' faces and makes them think before they text inappropriate things. It sounds completely weird, but just watch one of the videos. They made me giggle.

Helpful Books about Teen Relationships

After talking about these resources our Love Is Not Abuse discussion session yesterday, I just wanted to post the titles for everyone. You are free to check them out of the library anytime or just browse them while you are here.

• Frequently Asked Questions about Online Romance by Ann Boger
• Boyology: A Girl's Crash Course in Everything Boy by Sarah O'Leary Burningham
• Girls Against Girls: Why We Are Mean to Each Other and How We Can Change by Bonnie Burton
• The African-American Teenagers Guide to Personal Growth, Health, Safety, Sex, and Survival by Deborah Harris-Johnson
• No Mistakes! The African American Teen Guide to Growing Up Strong by Robin Henry
• GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel
• The Guy Book: An Owner's Manual by Mavis Jukes
• In Love and in Danger: A Teen's Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships by Barrie Levy
• The How Rude! Handbook of Friendship and Dating Manners for Teens by Alex J. Packer
• Respect: A Girl's Guide to Getting Respect and Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed by Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym
• Just Us Girls: Secrets to Feeling Good about Yourself, Inside and Out by Moka
• The Blueprint for My Girls in Love: 99 Rules for Dating, Relationships, and Intimacy by Yasmin Shiraz